


Leather and Stilettos

by Ayanemoon



Category: Captain America (Movies), MCU, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Best Friends, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Growing Up, Hair Kink, Loki is a sweetheart, M/M, POV Bucky Barnes, POV Female Character, POV Multiple, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Steve Rogers, Self-Acceptance, Self-Doubt, comic divergent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2018-08-09 10:35:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7798471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayanemoon/pseuds/Ayanemoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A romantic comedy about what happens when you hear so many stories about one person for so many years, and when you actually get to meet her, well, let's just say that things don't get too easy.</p><p>Characters: Bucky Barnes x Original character,( Reader) I used “I” Instead of “You” Steve Rogers, Others along the way.</p><p>Warnings: Language, general gross cuteness, some angst, bad writing, bad storylines, possible dampness, but mostly major fluff and feels.</p><p>It pretty much came to me drinking coffee at the beach, and I practically ran to get something to write it on…<br/>so yeah!</p><p> </p><p>graphic designer and comic book artist Moon ,living with her bestfriend steve since college<br/>Bucky discharged from the army and is looking for a place to stay at....with the crazy girl and his best friend,Bucky will start to learn how to cope and start a new life.<br/>O yeah, Moon kind of is the author of captain America the comics too yeah! just go with it...i promis its fun!</p><p>NO BETA any mistake is mine...</p><p>ENGLISH IS MY THIRD LANGUAGE.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Finally Meeting...

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently, I can't figure out how to use the italic here..sorry if u feel lost, well I think U can feel when she is being sarcastic^^  
> Join me on Tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ayanemoonlight for new postes^^

"Dear diary,

I met him today, AT MY APARTMENT…I know! Right!

  
So He was wearing something different from his usual color palette, the usual Black leather, and heavy riders boots, to a casual white top tank and some light gray jeans, even some beat up Vans with the deepest red which appeared to be Steve's?.  
His hair done in a cute man bun, but nothing can be said about his rebellious long bangs that pretty much where screaming their love for his face. Did I mention the fucking beard?...well. Kill me, please!

He was Waiting for Steve to come home, cleaning his aviator’s patiently on my couch like he owned the fucking block, and His metal prosthetic was shimmering with every movement of his arms.

  
I was dying to see him again, and then, there he was!! ... Steve did not come home early today, which was not unusual really, he runs for hours.

I've known Steve for like four years now, every day is a blessing with that boy, until That day, Steve's graduation party last September when a guy came to the party dressed like a fucking Rockstar, Rocking leather and long hair, playing with the chains of his dog tags ...I didn’t know it was him at the time, But everything was screaming ‘Danger’.And that was It. That's when I felt alive for the first time since a long long time...."

 

I paused for a bit, tapping the pen on the paper absent-mindedly thinking about that night. And what a night it was!

I was with the group from my college days, having a very good time. when I saw Steve's eyes widen like I've only seen him do when the pizza guy knocked on the door after a long run at the library.   
Being that much unusual, I couldn’t figure out why? I mean, the pizza guy was here like an hour ago!  
Curious, I turned my head in the direction where Steve was looking and let’s just say that Days were much simpler before that moment.

A God! A fucking Dark God just came into a mortals place.. _.was he lost or something?._.. I completely forgot about what I was doing in that place... If it wasn’t for the loud music which was pretty much a white noise in the background of my head at the moment, replaced by the drums of my own heartbeat. 

And then That Creature did the _second_ most beautiful thing That I’ve seen that week...He Just...Smiled!... A wild, most sincere, most breathtaking gleam of pure Joy.  
And, Steve ran, he ran to the guy, who was beaming at him with open arms. when the final contact happened, and the arms were locked on each other in a crushing hug, I could swear to this day that I felt the amplitude of what was between those two.

The guy's left "metallic?" hand gripped the back of Steve's neck while the right one locked on his back. I Could see his face being buried in Steve's shoulders while my friend kept "cradling" him!?. _OK! so it must be someone close, like Really close. But Steve never had a family after his Ma died. Apart from...Wait! No!! Really? Him? Is that Bucky? Like for real?_

Steve told me about his childhood best friend, the only One who was with him from the Kindergarten through high school.

The only person that could put the sparkles in his eyes when he was talking about him, the guy never shut up about him, Bucky was like a ghost, always roaming around for the past years I’ve known Stevie, it was nice to finally see him in person.

I got on my feet, passing a hand through my clothes, arranging my favorite "Scorpions" T-shirt that I threw out with some skinny dark Blue jeans and _The FIRST_ most beautiful thing that I saw that week... A black leather stiletto, matches my own leather jacket. then I noticed that Steve's is coming back WITH that god on his hands.

"Guys!! Guys.. Look who's here!!" Steve shouted excitedly while grabbing the other man's boob? ok

"Hey! Buck!! holy shit man, that’s a fucking surprise..." said Clint after Throwing Himself on the poor guy. Bucky greeted everyone with a nod and smiled to Nat.

  
" How did you know where we were?" asked Steve after a moment, trying to be seated properly with the new arrival added to that small, very unsuited-for-having-so-many people-on couch!  
Steve was still smiling to his back teeth showing, which was really good to watch, as I seated myself in the armchair next to Natasha on Steve's left crossing my legs.

"It's Nat, she texted me A while ago" I finally had the first taste of his voice... well. After that, I wished I never did!  
Steve looked at Nat with the sweetest face ever.  
I know that Natasha knew the duo in high school.so I guessed that they stayed in touch.

"congratulations Stevie..." Bucky added turning his gaze to Steve and smiling like a big brother that he actually was.

Steve was floating right now with happiness which was drawn on his smile, it was clear which one of us had the best gift for our dear boy.

  
Thanks, Nat!! you sneaky little...I thought while grabbing my drink and smiling fondly. people gifts objects, things, not a person!!

And it was then when Bucky decided to keep talking

  
"Can anyone of you do the introductions?" he looked at me with a sneaky smile which at that point just added gasoline to the whole war that was raging in me

I looked right into those light blue, No gray...!! Fucking Grey eyes!! WTF dude!! come on ...not fair!

  
"Right," cut Steve, "this is Moon, she was my college roommate, still is actually. roommate, that is !... Well, I told you about her Buck, This is she.” said Steve still smiling like a kid “ This is Buck. Moon, the one and only."

  
"Hey doll!" said Bucky piercing me with his Fucking eyes .I was RED...Nat looked at me fighting her sneaky smile.

"Hi!" that was the only thing that I could manage at the moment. _which was, let's be honest here.PRETTY HUGeeee!!_!

  
I closed my fingers around my empty glass, as they kept talking…. _What the hell is wrong with me?_

This is typically ME, every time, every fucking time, I find someone attractive, I become this…Stupid little girl blushing at everything. like a freaking teenager all over again. But If he was attractive AND I don’t see him as a potential Boyfriend, nothing changes. I'm Me, with every sarcastic, unladylike side of me, I show everything and don’t give monkey’s ass about his reaction… _But this is James fucking Barnes…like_.Ok _!_

Why can’t I be cute, and talkative? Show off all my good and feminine sides. I know I can be quite boyish, well all my friends find that sweet and charming in its way. But why do I lose all my potentials as soon as am interested in someone?!

Bucky was still looking at me now and throughout the evening, which made me SOo Alert to his presence at the party, well How could he Not be Noticeable! like, come on! That dude was like a freaking eye magnet, and I thanked God for that at some point, because it gave me reassurance that I was not the only one doing so..so yeah kept looking.

I was in the kitchen at after a while, helping Nat and Wanda clearing out some mess at the twin’s apartment, they were nice enough to let the party happen there, so let's be civil about it. when Bucky made his way to sit on the kitchen counter across from me, trying to keep myself busy to avoid making a fool of myself, deciding to clear out the small table next to the couch which was covered with plastic cups and empty pizza boxes. Walking to it, I could feel those sinful eyes on me, when I got back, he brought his glass to his lips and purred.

"nice shoes!" with a side smile.

Ok!! so he noticed that gorgeous little piece of happiness I was wearing... _OK!! thanks, anybody shoots me now...cause it is going to hurt if this continues!_

  
"hum.Thanks!" I replied blushing. “you like them?" I tried to be casual while sustaining his gaze

 

"How could I not?!! I mean look at them…” he said widening his eyes “ But it's not the shoes that drew my attention first though!" he took a sip

 

"ho! what then?"Surprised really like what is there to like apart from the shoes!

He moved forward and took the tip of my shirt between his Index and thumb  
I could cook a fucking omelet on My cheek right now.

"I like the shirt!...didn’t think that anyone could pull off a rock band shirt with High heeled stilettos," He said while FUCKING licking his lips which were red after so many rounds between his teeth.

"Scorpions heuh!" he added with a smirk" would have taken you for a 1D girl"

"Really!!"I stopped mid-work stunned and looked at him; Wtf dude 1D? really do I look like am twelve?  
He didn’t reply, just kept side smiling, and turned to Steve, the fucker he was soon playing with me now!!

the night got to an end, and I and Buck didn’t get to talk after the 1D thing, but it was Ok, some side glances now and then were enough.

Cause in a million years I wasn’t prepared for what was coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, everyone!  
> this is my first fic ever! hope you like it!  
> show me some love if u did!
> 
> i still don't know where to take this one....am discovering it with you!  
> i just know that its a slowww burn! so hang in ther!
> 
> any suggestions let me know!


	2. when the heavens speaks...

Two days, Two whole days before my life was turned upside down, a knock on the door woke me from my Saturday morning sleep… Steve, that fucker must have forgotten his keys again when he went for his morning Run. so I got on my feet stumbling on everything on the floor, like a drunken child, In my short shorts and Gun’s N Roses T-shirt, My hair was not to be mentioned at the moment!

“What the hell steve, you know that I wasn’t planning on waking up at all today…the hell are your keys for!”I whined while opening the door.

“Hey there little scorpion! “Said the ONLY person on earth WHICH I DID NOT wish to see ME like this when I woke up.

“hum, ah, what!! You?....Whaaat!!” well, let’s say that I am completely awake now.

“you look cute!” he commented as he entered the living room, practically throwing himself on the couch.

OK! So he likes rock band shirts .yeah I get that! And he thinks am cute?!!

“make yourself at home…”I added looking at him incredulously while crossing my arms to hide my trembling fingers

“Thanks, I will” he smiled looking at me with those eyes, promising troubles six ways ‘til Sunday

I pretty much sprinted to my room after that. James FUCKING Barnes was on my couch! Scrubbing his aviators!

Did I have a guardian angel somewhere which I didn’t know about? Get it together girl…

So first things first, I had to change ASAP. But he liked the shirt! Ok so leave the shirt, throw on some pants idiot! Five minutes later I was stepping out of my bedroom, with some jeans, and the only pair of flat shoes that I had, always heels!

I’ve always had great chocolate long hair but needed some brushing in the morning.

I calmed myself enough to open the door and just walked out!

When Bucky saw me heading out to the kitchen, he came to sit on the counter chair studying me from head to toe.

“heu…” he paused looking at my jeans “ shame, I liked the shorts better!” he pouted.

HE fucking pouted like a freaking five years old…

didn’t comment, just smiled politely…Blushing fifty shades of red while trying to get a hold on my sarcastic side soo hard at the moment. Oh, keep doing that, Buddy…Am coming along.

I felt myself getting back to the real me by the second I spent with the dude. And I liked it.

yes! of course Buck was attractive and wildly charming, and Yes! I had a thing for his long hair since I saw him! Well Not only him, I’ve always had a thing for long hair guys…But Bucky’s were like melting chocolate, Just wanted one quick slid off my fingers through those auburn locks.

and I practically couldn’t speak the last time I saw the guy. But the more I spent time with the guy, the more I got used to him so I could be myself, Which meant, Finally some common sense

I took out my cereal bowl and a coffee cup, from the kitchen cabinet, Bucky kept looking at me while I did so. So I asked if he wanted something like a polite person would do.

“No thanks, I had a hot dog on my way up here, You know It's noon right!” Bucky said.

but it didn't stop him from reaching to the spoon and helping himself from my breakfast.

“ok cool! “I shrugged sitting on the chair opposite to him. “what are you doing?”

“nothing,” he peered at me from the corner of his eyes “just eating some girl’s breakfast at 1 in the afternoon” he replied sarcastically while eating MY cereal with MY spoon after He just said That he Just had a hot dog.

“I mean, What are you doing here? As In My apartment!”I corrected as I took back my bowl of cereals.

“right, yeah, Steve told me to come today so here I am” he replied smiling and shrugging his eyebrows and finish chewing his bit.

And right on cue, Steve came in through the door.

“Hey, Moon! Did Buc…Bucky, you’re here!!” Steve pretty much Radiated with Joy as he approached us

“hey Buddy!” bucky smiled back

“Thanks for the heads up Steve, ”I said

“Am sorry, I really meant to do it, I spoke with him yesterday on the phone, and after he hung up, I tried to tell you so I went to your room but you were already sleeping.” Explained Steve

“tell me about what?”I asked and took a spoon of cereal in my mouth

“ You didn’t tell her ?”he said

“tell me what?” I asked

“Stevie here,” started Bucky “...asked me if I wanted to move in with you two!”…he paused to see my reaction, which was the complete and utter opposite of Steve’s right now.

I didn’t respond, how could I !, I mean, I was literally Stun, with steve's hopeful smile and that demon’s piercing eyes. Noticing my face, Bucky turned to look at his best friend, surprised?

“ I Can't Believe it, Steve, You didn’t ASK her first?” he said suddenly

And, ok I wasn’t expecting this.

“I know, I'm sorry, I should have discussed it with you before asking him But, It just that we were talking about how he couldn’t find the right place to settle in, and the next thing I was asking him to move in with me! I mean with US!” explained Steve clearly uncomfortable .

“steeeve!” Bucky exhaled. Flattening his palm on the counter, and looking at them

“am sorry! But I didn’t think; Moon You know how I am when it comes to him!” steve added honestly

And the thing is I really knew! Sadly, and honestly, that was what I loved about that blonde boy, his warm and huge heart and his devotion to his best friends.

“I know, Buddy, and I get it, I would have done the same, to be honest!”I smiled why taking steve’s hand, “But I just wished you could have told me as soon as you could! I mean, wish I didn’t end up greeting the man dressed in shorts.” I joked to lighten the mood.

“The man liked those shorts!” Bucky commented as soon as I finished. While holding up his finger.

“ I bet you did!” steve and I said at the same time. Then we both started laughing…

Bucky’s sinful, NOT-Fair grey eyes were locked on me, what did he expect? That I would say No?

I stood up to clean my bowl at the sink, steve is having a bottle of iced tea from the fridge, and Bucky just sat there watching us, thinking apparently.

“are you really Ok with this, Moon?”Bucky asked honestly and saying MY name for the first time and,Man!! That sounded sooo perfect!

“yeah! I mean, Why not?!”I replied casually. “we have an extra bedroom at the back that needs some work, so yeah! We could use some fresh faces in here, and I know how hard it can be to find a decent place around here”. I added smiling at him, “ and let's just say that you’re not so hard to look at” just as I took the bottle from Steve’s hands and put it on my lips.

See! the real me is coming back fast…just needs him to be around for a week and its gonna be like talking with steve…well, I was Hoping.

“hey! That’s mine” steve complained

“Nop! That WAS yours…”

“ But it’s the last one! Moon come on..”

Thank god my phone actually chose that moment to ring.

saved by the bell!

“that’s for making me look like a fool in front of your best friend” I replied while taking off to my room. the Darth Vader theme song raging in my bedroom

“Damn!” I heard bucky say…” I like her”

“ yeah! I guess I see now why it worked so well between Me and her…” added steve

“hum! Why ‘s that” said buck without looking away from my direction0

“cause she is like you, jerk!”

“punk!” bucky replied automatically .but I could hear a hint of a smile at the end.

What was that?!! “ and let's just say that you’re not so hard to look at”? Really, where was that coming from!!! Did I just …oki!!not bad girl!.

After Ending the call, I changed into a classy black silk dress shirt with white skinny jeans, and of course my babies, deep blue stilettos with a slightly pointed front, with matching bag. Hair Up in a high ponytail.

Opening the bedroom door, I was confronted with Steve and Bucky sitting on the couch, watching top gear and discussing animatedly the show before them. I smiled at the picture in front of me, it’s a good idea, really !Having Buck living with steve again, having his buddy back from the army was the best thing that could happen to Steve.

 

I approached the two boys, letting them know I was heading out.

“what happened to the Guns’s T-shirt?” asked Buck surprised?

“hey, are you going somewhere?” added steve.

Bucky was once again studying my garment! And thinking?!! I know that was a change from what he saw earlier.

“yeah! That was Chris, he wanted to see me!” I replied shrugging while looking at Bucky

“what happened to ‘Gun’s N Roses shirt?” repeated Bucky looking annoyed?!

“I refuse to go on a date with a concert shirt on, it's ugly, and no one would like it” I tried to sound convincing…and failed!

“But!...I liked it! though!” he said! POUTING again…God my heart!!

Steve smiled at his buddy’s comment.

“so it’s a date! Hein!” he added…he looked right into my soul and continued.”Have fun”

“Thanks, I will!”..I said with a smile didn’t want to correct him, let him think what he wants! 

“ and Stevie! Don’t wait up.”

“K! don’t get into too much trouble ..” he shouted after I started to the door.

“Can’t promise that!”I replied waving my hand to them without looking back. Then, I was out!

Chris, was My Ex, My first love to be exact,we’ve been officially together for about six years, childhood friends to high school sweethearts, then we grew up, and had to go to different colleges, it was obvious that we would grow apart with time, discussing our relationship, we agreed to put an end to it, and stay good friends.

He was really cute, and all…with Bright green eyes and dark short hair. But things didn’t work out sadly.

 

I had a great time, it been awhile since the last time I saw him, I really missed talking to him.

“so!what’s his name?” Chris asked after a particularly long silent moment, he was the best at reading me, comes with the years being one of my best friends I guess!.

I smiled, I wasn’t surprised really! I knew he was to figure it all out without saying much.

“His name is Bucky,”I said without looking at him,” he is Steve’s best friend, he came back from the army, and I think that he’s going to leave with us!

“Damn! He’s fast…the son of a bitch!” Chris laughed at it, and after describing the guy…HE pretty much did this.

He looked at me solemnly, grabbed my shoulders with both arms and turned me to face him then said.

“Well, Moon….You’re screwed!” and he hugged me…the fucker was sooo right he didn’t even know the depth of it all. Chris knows what long hair did to me, I even made him grow it out at some point

and didn’t even mention the guy’s freaking persona or his way to carry himself, not even his way of looking at My fucking soul with just One glance…  
so yeah He was right!!!

Screwed Didn’t even begin to cover it!

"good" he added later on, without missing a beat "you need to get over yourself and start a new life....its time love!" he arranged stray strands of hair behind my ear.  
"Yeah, I guess I am!"


	3. A fujoshi mind is better with roommates

When I got home that evening close to one in the morning, I wasn't expecting what I was about to see. slipping the key through the keyhole, trying to be as quiet as possible, I somehow managed it. I was Not surprised to find the couch empty, Well, they must have gone out too. But thinking more about it, I remembered that it was a Saturday, and tomorrow, well today… steve was busy in the morning having some errand to do, so he must be sleeping,…And there is no sign of Buck, and when will he be moving? We didn’t even discuss it…

I went to my room to change, got into the outfit I was wearing this morning, no need to have new ones, and laundry day is tomorrow anyway.  
Slipping into my flip-flops and headed to Steve's room to check on him.

I walked silently over to him, and just before reaching his bedroom door, deep red Vans were thrown carelessly next to the door! What the…? _Oh, my heart is not prepared for this!!_

I peeked my head through the cracked door, as quietly as humanly manageable, and remember what I told you about having a guardian angel?! Well, I swear I could hear him singing the well known “ahh ” of holiness when I finally opened the door and saw what was offered like a gift on a silver platter.

The first thing that I could manage in the dim light of the room was limbs, Bodies, On the bed, and hair!  
So I took one step ahead and finally could differentiate the limbs, a slightly darker skin, a hand was on a slightly less dark chest. so I took another step. Now It was clearer, Steve was sleeping on his back on the left side of the bed like a rock, snoring swiftly, stretched as if he was claiming the bed to be his, well it was His… the left arm hung out loosely off the bed, while the right one was comfortably used as a pillow for a darker head, which was keeping it warm with a current of soft locks covering it…

Bucky was curled to his sides, facing Steve. One leg folded and the other one stretched out. His arm was On Steve’s chest and the other one was under him but slightly stretched to the empty side of the bed. Which made bucky looking like he was more on his chest than on his sides. Sleeping contently, keeping those sinful eyes at bay.

It took me a moment to grasp it properly. But at that moment, Steve’s words came to mind  
“Even when I had nothing…I had Bucky.” I could still hear his voice as he said that when he was telling me about his best guy…and it took me years, But I finally got to understand those words, and finally see the bigger picture.

When I think about it, I really feel like I've known Bucky myself, with all the stories Steve told me about him, I can see now why I wasn’t really -thrown out- about him living with us, Not against him… nor frightened or finding it weird…. Cause in a way, It came as naturally as it was. Sure I was really surprised that Stevie had asked him to move in! , But if I’d known about his situation, I know that I would have asked him eventually. Not cause I find him Attractive…God, I really do! But because I really consider Buck to be a close friend, family even…Is that weird?!!

so I ran out to my room and got my phone…it is best friend protocol to have compromising pictures of your friends, so it had to be captured… I grabbed my phone and went back to the boy's bedroom. When I went through the door the second time the door creaked slightly and I froze! oh shit!! oh shit!! Looking at the bodies stretched on the bed shifting swiftly. And I really sighed at the result. Steve ’s left out arm came up to get into bucky’s hair as he shifted to his sides, facing his best friend’s frame and making him even closer to his chest as he did so, Bucky nuzzled Stevie's’ neck… _Thank you, Stevie._

I couldn’t dream of a better position, so I grabbed my device and got to work.  
after snapping the picture I took off as soon as the light of the flash was out…Let's do not push our luck! _Ohh man! Its gonna be so much fun having him around!_

I went back to my room, shed the duvet, and got into bed. I couldn’t stop looking at my phone, That picture was perfectly clear, and I just couldn’t tear my eyes away from it.

Studying steve’s expression of content that made me wonder what was he dreaming about to look like that?! And Bucky's…That beautiful dark boy so fierce and commanding curled in a ball like a five-year-old, hanging on Steve's arm like a lifeline.

What steves told me was that Bucky Barnes chose a military career after graduating High school, he was promoted to Sergeant after only One year, all for his sharpshooting skills and his cleverness, which made him the youngest sergeant of his division. Thus igniting respect all around him.

And how he came to lose his arm! Well, Steve never told me how…and I never pushed him.  
Yet looking at him sleeping like that made me think about the real James, What were his dreams?. Did he have nightmares about all the horrors he witnessed throughout his army days? how did he cope his stress? did he have a girlfriend to take care of him? someone to help him forget! and that made me go jealous.

Who am I kidding…I pretty much was already head over heels for that ghost from steve’s stories, and now that I MET him… _well, I let you figure that out!_  
While I was lost in my thoughts, I drift out into sleep dreaming about Bucky, smiling ‘til his back teeth were showing, looking like a bright angel that he deserves to be. And in my dream, I made a wish that he would never lose it.

 

 

 

When I woke up the next morning, I could hear the noise coming from the kitchen. I checked the watch on my nightstand, it was 10 am, so it wasn’t Steve preparing coffee, he must have been out for like two hours now. Shit!! Bucky.

I got out of bed, practically dragged myself to the door, the smell of fresh coffee and eggs _ohh Boy I love youuu, you made breakfast!!_  
I brushed my teeth, combed my hair, checked myself ok let's do this!

I opened the door, started walking to the kitchen, I was greeted with the most beautiful sight that I wish to every woman to witness someday…An insanely hot guy, sizzling eggs on the pan, dressed in steve’s black basketball shorts and his top tank from yesterday…bedroom hair, Rocking my dark blue apron like it was made for him. Smirking as he sees me approaching. I sat on the counters chair trying to get a hold of my heart right now. why was he looking at me like that?! And then I remembered the short shorts that I was wearing. Great!

“Good morning doll!” He puuuured… _shit! My heart!! Damn your Fucking morning voice and it’s huskiness_

“ Morning!” I replied he put a full plate next to me, with him slightly bending forward, a rebellious strand of hair got on his eyes going down to his lips. _and OMG I can’t!!_

without noticing my traitorous hands moved on their own and smoothed his lock from his temples to the back of his right ear. I lingered for a second, his hair was sooo smooth and so accessible, it was right there!! Just.. a bit further and I could feel it through my fingers... Then, I caught myself doing so _Oh shit kill_ mee _!!_  
Was he looking at me…amused? I jerked back blushing fifty shades of red again! As I sat back on the chair. he didn’t say anything, no judgments nothing as if it was the most natural thing ever.

“Ahh um sorry…I..”I mumbled something I didn’t even know what I would say to that!! _IDIOT!_

“its ok Doll…thank you, though!” he said smiling while gathering his locks into a messy man bun, with a ponytail on his wrist.  
He seated himself on the chair opposite to mine and started with his breakfast. Sensing an awkward silence starting to settle I tried to make conversation.

“so..you slept here!!”

“yeah,” he said looking and smiling again… _Come on Barnes don’t you ever stop smiling its hard for me buddy some understanding here man!!_

I really Honestly, tried to sustain his bright gaze for a human conversation and succeeded for like four seconds, _Ok its good for a morning! let's try again in 10 mins_

I kept looking at his hands laboring the fork between his fingers, the way he was tapping it repeatedly was curious…was he nervous?! Is that even possible?

“so..” he started after a while, “I ‘will be living here, with you…” I looked at him,

“yeah! I guess you are.” I said with a faint smile, it was too awkward this weird silence so I decided to whip it off  
“ I mean, as long as you keep making breakfast every morning…I will even consider doing your laundry” I joked, well not really joking.. steve sucked at cooking, and so did I.

“Done!” said our newest member that- thank god- CAN cook. he laughed, he finally laughed… _Man! That is music!_

“Good! I like a man who can cook.” I added!  
“and I like cooking for the people I love” he replied. Looking Through me. NOT at me… _shit!!!_  
those icy blues!..wait a minute, but the pupils were dilated, like blown!…he was excited! Ohh! That is some good news.  
he was flirting….with me?..ah!! so I grabbed my coffee cup, took few sips, well! Pretty much gulped the whole thing down just to get that burning feeling elsewhere than from my cheeks.

Bucky Barnes was Flirting... _with me_ , on this fine morning…well, hello there Goosebumps! Its been a while.

  
I got on my feet to the sink to wash the cup clean after finishing, as I got there; I felt a close presence behind me.  
he stood there next to me in silence for about a minute then sighed.

“Thank you, Moon! Seriously” he said. I was genuinely surprised, so I looked at him, trying to decipher his expression.

“For what? I didn’t do anything!” I asked

“On the contrary, you did everything.” He said so softly, his voice dropping an octave, and to my surprise, he took a tip of a strand hanging on my shoulder between his thumb and index rolling it on his finger. is action was so simple yet it started a fire in my stomach.  
I just kept looking at him, not knowing how to react to that. What did he mean everything?  
noticing my confusion he added.

“For Stevie,” he leaned on the counter and dropping his hand to his sides like he caught himself doing something he wasn’t supposed to. _ooh, buddy, here, have my head if you like!_

“for taking such a good care of him…I-I never get to thank you for that.” he continued

“come on! you don’t have to thank me for that! He is my friend too you know!” I started. Drying the cups just so that my hands were doing something….or they would jump and violate his face.

“no, that’s the thing, you didn’t have to, I know how Stevie can be, but you did it anyway…and that you know, helped me so much …” he turned to face the window facing us “without knowing it, you took so much off my shoulders, "I was always worried about him, and his trouble-making nature, without me picking up the pieces after him, But…” he turned and faced me “when I knew that he had someone as Stubborn as you with him…I could relax and do my things.” He smiled fondly… _God! Stop with those eyes!_

“Stubborn!” I said! Looking at him questionably, and yeah I was stubborn! But he seems to like it!

“yeah! And trust me that is a good thing. Steve needs people like that, I know cause I’m one of them.” he laughed and patted my shoulder doing so.

“so he talked about me?!” I asked very curious about what did Stevie say to him, did he say how a massive mess I can be?

“ you know when he was talking about you” he started sitting on his chair. “he had this Huge smile on his face, and talking with so much passion, and sometimes he looked soo annoyed with what you did or said to him, you know when he couldn’t have his way! or how you scold him about anything he does…”

“yeah! Trust me he deserved it!”I cut him laughing.

“oh !I know!” he replied, “and to be honest, I really felt like I’ve grown to know you from his stories.” he looked at me saying so, _and My heart Oh god!_

“yeah! I get that!...me too, I too felt like I’ve known you.” I said blushing but kept looking at him. I can do this come one girl get it together! “that’s why it wasn’t so hard accepting you moving in here…in a way you were already a member of this little home.”

“how so?” he asked surprised? His eyes were sparkling cool!

“you were like a ghost” I laughed and he giggled, “I mean, you were always floating around, Bucky this, Bucky that!! So now we have the body too” I joked!

he laughed good-naturedly . I looked at him, smiling, so alive and happy, it really made my heart warm. Bucky was really a precious member of this little family. and he needed to know that!

“ you’re practically family buck! I want you to know that. and don’t worry about anything.” I said while reaching for his hand on the table.  
he looked at me, he seemed very thrown out from what I said.

“Thank you…Moon” he squeezed my fingers on his right ones, with his left hand.

“you’re welcome.” I smiled. “it was a good start, just keep making our delicious food and you will be just fine!” I joked to lighten the mood. and to keep me from that Glowing gaze !

“Every day, for the rest of your life.” He added his Beautiful, not fair You bastard –murderous- of a smirk. the one that starts with his right side curling before the rest of his lips followed. This added gasoline to the raging war inside my stomach

“didn’t ask for less Barnes,” I replied not trying to overthink his wording choice  
suddenly, his eyes had that mischievous glow in them, _Oh! I’m not prepared for this._

“can you promise me something little scorpion?” he asked directing his body to me

“what?” I asked ‘little scorpion’… _Oh! He had a nickname for me…What a glorious day…_

“can you promise me that I could see you In short shorts every day.”  
!!

“Don’t push your luck!” I turned heading to my room.

“come on doll, I will even make you pancakes” shit.. stop piercing me with ice, for goodness sake!

“shut up Barnes!” I rolled my eyes. But he didn’t get to see that!

I didn’t turn to see him, but from the laughing sounds that filled the hole, I pretty much hugged myself from pride…y _eah…it’s gonna be soo much fun having him around._


	4. Sinistre hour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorryyy for the delay...man that was intense!  
> Ok guys am still discovering the storie like you,just have some ideas abt the plot snd just givingg life to my fantasies.soo yeah.  
> Pls leave a comment to give me some love...  
> Enjoyy

 

Bucky moved in within the week; he didn't have much stuff,so he settled down rapidly and with small amount of complications.

  
we helped him, Steve and I clean the room which was unused for like three years, so we had our share of spider webs, and heavy sneezing on my part.  
opening the shades and pouring some water down on it to get rid of dirt which accumulated with the rainy days,while Bucky started to get some clothing out of the boxes and hanging them in the closet.

lifting the heavy boxes, and maneuvering the furniture, _God,! he looks mouth watering right now_ , in his sport shorts and a black top tank, his hair disheveled from the movement,

some soft strands succeded freeing themselves from his messy bun,kept getting on his sweaty face, _and that see! make my hands itch_ , just wants to put him down on the floor and have him between my legs, so that I can try to get a hold on those rebellious locks, just so that he would stop passing those fingers into that mane of auburn hair, which makes his biceps flex and dance in front of my eyes,

it is massively enough having him maneuvering heavy objects, and the flex from that only causes me heavy breathing...but having him stopping mid work and stretching his whole body getting that arm moving and glistening with sweat in the light of our dear lord...It's too much!!! and don't get me started on his metal arm!that would send my heart into overdrive

steve saw me daydreaming about his best friend, and kept smacking me with his duster. and _an- I know what you're thinking girl-, -get it together-_ look on his face.  
I looked at him with a _\- I won’t tell if you don’t -_ look on mine.

  
Yeah! It was pretty much always like that between me and stevie, so no hard pressure.

 

by the end of the day, after we decided to make a cleaning day of it, and continued with the kitchen, and the bathroom as well.

Agreeing that We had our fill, we settled for” A Doing Nothing Night!”, Ordering some pizza, and having a movie night...which was officially declared ‘the First Movie Night’ of so many to come. As a guest, well, full on roommate now !we let Bucky choose the movie we were going to watch, and the fucker settled for a horror movie.  _could you be_ more perfect _right now?._

“ So Sinister guys!I heard it's a good thriller, ” he said looking at steve then at me. “ you're welcome to squeeze in if you're afraid Moon!” he smirked devilishly.

“ha! you're soo wrong about her buddy,” giggled steve sitting on the couch with two slices of pizza. “she loves Horror movies. and I think she already watched it.”

“yeah! and you haven’t, stevie, maybe you will have a blonde squeezing in on you instead of a brunette, Barnes”I added putting the ice tea box next on the small table and serving myself a slice.

“come on! and I was looking forward to looking cool tonight saving you from that disturbing soundtrack!” he pouted, he did it again _oh!! my heart!!_ it would have been a great idea playing it weak!! shit, _I hate this part of mys_ elf, such a good opportunity lost. those arms and chest look soo comfy tonight, under that freshly bathed sent coming from his Tshirt.

 

Bucky seated himself at the other end of the couch, and patted the space between him a steve, looking very happy about himself. Ok, Barnes lets do this!  
I took it and folded my legs under me, Indian style, and the plate of pizza ready on them.

When the writer in the movie started to get the hang of the situation,I started to drift off.

I usually can put on an all-nighter easy, I was now feeling the weight of the full day that we had, so my eyes started to close on their own,

I kept fighting it, and around me, those muscular shoulders felt so comfortable and warm and the fuckers kept calling to me. I should just lean in and feel it on my cheeks. Oh!! Steve or Bucky… I wanted baucky so damn hard, but come one the guys just moved in let's not make a stalker out of ourselves... _yet!_

  
Giving in, I leaned on steve on my right, seeing me trying to make myself comfortable, he lifted his left arm and put it behind my head allowing me to rest on it.  
 _oh!_ I practically moaned with the feel of it...I could rest for a bit, the movie is not ending for like thirty minutes from now, I have time.  
I started going deep into a comfortable sleep when I heard something soft and soothing.

“but am right here!!” like a whisper

“give her time Buddy, soon enough don't worry!” Steve's whole body vibrated with the words.

_‘give her time’? what did he mean by that!...choosing what?_

the next thing I remembered was being lifted, it felt like floating, but held safely into strong and protective arms, _what a nice feeling,_ so I tried to have as much of it as I could  
I reached and locked my arms around his neck, squeezing, and burying my face into that softness.. _hum!! He smelled so sweet, and musky...where can I buy this scent?_..  
I tried to articulate some words, trying to say thank you for taking me to my bed!  
“ eum! ste- ie…” was all that I could come up with.

a replay came soon enough that I couldn't comprehend, and a soft giggle, making his chest vibrate, and something was wrong with Steve's voice. It's so hard to think right now…  
felt the cold of my sheets suddenly, Ugh! cold!

” I know little scorpion, give it time.” little scorpion?! ah!  
a warm hand on my forehead, a click of some lighting. Then, there were dreams.

 

When I woke up the next morning, a happy and sweet feeling flooded my chest, it's been a long time since I felt it…

 

 

After closing the bedroom door, he stopped and just leaned on the door for a minute, What was that about? What was wrong with him? He lifted his human hand to his chest in an attempt to feel his heartbeat!! Why was it hammering like that? He just took her to her bed for god sack!, and nothing happened, well she hugged him,, and he could still feel her breath on his neck,it was so warm and her arms draped around him, Of course, she thought he was Steve, but it felt so comforting and it really gave him a sense of belonging, like he was made to take care of her,...like those arms were home...  
God! what is wrong with him? He just knew the girl for like a week!!!and he is thinking of her being his home?...come on Barnes!! Well sure; heard about her for years, but how could he allow himself those feelings towards her, He even felt jealous after she chose to lean on steve and not on him!! It was obvious that she would have gone with Steve, it's her best friend, but he was kind of hoping she would choose him,

With a tantalizing slowness, he lifted that hand to his neck and just brushed the skin where Moon’s lips were and smiled fondly...He really was smitten, wasn't he!! He finishes with those fingers through his locks and started for the living room where steve was cleaning their diner.

 

With a look from Steve, he could tell that his pal caught on everything that was happening with him, cause the little tease started smirking knowingly.

“What?” asked buck picking up his soda cup and gulping it empty.  
“Nothing..” said steve with a more obvious smile now, he took the plates and headed for the kitchen.

Bucky followed him with the rest of the cups and bottles…still lost in his thoughts.  
Knowing the look on his brother’s face, steve couldn't stop himself from saying.

“You like her.” he simply declared, like it was the easiest and the most simple thing to say!

 

He couldn't even respond to that statement! He just looked at him surprised and not so repelled by the idea. which Steve took it as a confirmation, he really knew his buddy, so if Steve caught all that from just one look, then who was bucky to contradict him?...  
Steve was the only person who could tell when Bucky is bluffing, he simply was the only person who could tell what he was thinking without even asking...knowing him better than himself, guess that’s what years of friendship give you...

“I d-don’t know!! Do I?” he just replied...he lifted his gaze to meet his best friends, and just looked lost...  
Was he? Really like, In love with his best friend's roommate? HIS roommate, the girl that took care of his Stevie when he couldn’t!...well, love was a strong word for his feelings right now.

and if he was, when did that start? Since when was he feeling those things without him even knowing about it?

He just sat, on the counter chair and looked at his hands in front of him like they were the most interesting things ever, Steve took place right next to him, he knew that Bucky was a bit slow with his emotions, not when he wanted to get into someone's pants, but as a deeper level, always been like that, trying to grasp the news, he couldn't let him do so alone.

“What makes you say that stevie?” he asked after a while without taking his eyes from his fingers

“I just know you Buck, that’s just it!” he replied

“But I can’t Steve, you know I can’t do this to her,” he said those words with so much fear in his eyes...and Steve understood what he meant by it

  
“You can buck, it’s Ok to love someone...and god knows you need someone in your life…”he assured him.  
“ I have you.!” bucky claimed. looking straight at him.

  
“ You do buck, always, but not like that” he took his both hands in his and added

“ You need someone that can do so much more than me, that can soothe you and take good care of you, I know you’re afraid of your PTSD that It's ok, you need to start thinking about your future buddy, starting a new life...and who’s better than Moon for that?..trust me she can take it.she is tough. and better yet...she is worth it!” he explained.

Bucky just stood there, looking incredulously at his brother.was he even allowed to feel that?his lack of human interactions was so heavy on his shoulders, he couldn’t even be in a relationship for more than three months. and that was the longest he’s ever been in one.

His nightmares and terrors were the death of him, after coming back from his service. after losing his left arm was the darkest moments of his life, he literally lost himself, lost his smile and taste in life all together...so no one could stay with him, all his previous romance were a mess, and his dreams of a lasting things were shattered after a while, so he accepted it, moved on and never looked back. As from there, his life was a constant loop of one night stands, never looked for more. But sure as hell Needed more.

 

“What about that chris guy?” he noted

 

“He’s her ex...they grew up together, but you have to ask her if you need more info on that subject,” he replied dismissing the subject and getting up to the fridge. “ I can tell you one thing, though…”

 

He took a water bottle and drank.

“She is more like you then you think!” he added with a knowing smile. Double meaning in his words.

“what, messed up?” he disclosed

“No idiot!” he snickered, smaking Bucky on his shoulder. “ told you she is tough!”

“What then?”he echoed

“Looking for the one.” stevie revealed with a soft smile on his lips,

Bucky could tell steve was hiding something but didn't ask.

“So she is single? How could a girl like that Be single?!” bucky questioned unbelievingly.

He remembered the first time he met her at steve's party, she took his breath away, with her rock band T Shirt and high heels, Damn she was a sight! But not just that, He finally get to put a face on a name after all these years of hearing stories about her, finally get to see her and know her, and hear her talk, laugh, he was so thrown out about it that he didn't even know what to say to her, ended up talking about shoes and teenage band.

 

“Trust me, I ask myself this question every day” steve cuts his thoughts and took place next to bucky

 

“What happens to her?” bucky asked, he is not ignorant if a girl like Moon chose to be alone, so it meant something must have happened.

 

“A constant disappointment, that's what happened to her” he started

 

“She is lonely, I know she is, even though she says otherwise” steve added.

 

“ and she is very secretive about it, she hides when she is feeling hurt, but I know when she is down, she just got this look on her face, or when she reads her books or watches a movie, that moment which shows all her longing for just being in love.”

“So she is a romantic!” bucky noticed smiling knowingly.

“A big one!” choked steve “ and hides it with her boldness, She was hurt so many times buck, With what I could gather, No one from her previous relationships fought for her, they said they loved her but never did anything about it!I remember hearing some sniffing noises in her room after her break up, so when I went into her room she told me what had happened ,but she was so blasé like she had enough and just stopped caring, she was the only one hurting, so she chose to close her heart...and it's been like that for like four years now.”steve stopped and Bucky just looked at his hands not knowing what to do after all that!

 

“And you expect me to add to her! Come on steve thought you were smarter than that!!” he sputtered.  
“ No buck, I know you...both...Trust me Buddy.”he firmly cut him.with his hand on Bucky's metal one he continued!  
“and I know that there is no one better than you for her pal, because you are the kind of man that fights for what's his...and as for her, she only wants to be needed and loved and cared for, Why do you think she puts up with me, am a handfull?” steve giggled.

 

“True!” bucky chuckled

“Shut up Jerk!” Steve snickered

After a comfortable silence, Bucky asked

“Do you really think I have a chance?”

“Of Course you do, Your Bucky Barnes!” steve replied happily

“No, I mean can this really go further?” he admitted

Steve just looked at his brother fondly with those big blue eyes of his, god! he really was a sweetheart!

“You have the answer to that buddy…” he said getting up “you just have to let it happen”

After dropping a good night kiss on his brother's forehead, steve heads out for his bedroom, leaving Bucky to his thoughts, steve knows that he needs to think about his feelings, so he left him to them.  
Minutes passed with Bucky leaning on the window, having the flickering city lights as his companion. He just sat there, thinking about his past, the choices that he made, he lifted his metal arm and just looked at those shifting plates, the reflection of the city lights that could get through their living room window. He needed to trust himself, again, and let other people in, if he wanted to be happy if he wanted to Live and not just Survive.

 

_“But I have you”..._  
When he got to his room, Steve shut the door behind him and just leaned on it.  
He just felt ...not lost but overwhelmed, Bucky still held him soo deep in his heart, As he held bucky in his.  
But in way, it hurt him the way his best friend couldn't move on like he had. He was happy now, he had a girlfriend, that made him happy and content.  
A girlfriend, a working girlfriend, but still, he needed to accommodate with having a traveling Geologist Dr as his lady, sure! He saw very little of her, but still, those stolen moments together made up for weeks apart, that girl was a master.

 

With those thoughts, he smiled thinking of his lady made him miss her even worst, so he grabs his phone and starts to write a text:  
“I miss you my lady!...can’t wait to see u.XO ” he hit send, and smiles to himself.  
Thinking about the pet name, His lady, and what a lady he has.


	5. take it easy ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! sorry, it took this long! graduation work is killing me! but this is a long one that I think will help my case.  
> I don't know if any of you is still with me, but let me hope.  
> I would love to hear from you, and I hope you like this on!....after much-needed affection (for me) ,I can say that things are moving forward for these two idiots!  
> hope you like it!  
> any mistakes are mine.no beta_ed.

“Not working today ?” he asked taking a full Fork into his mouth, chewing contentedly.

he has no idea how beautiful he is... every expression he arbor,every hand gesture, every averted look or a tiny smile or even when his face is expressionless ,when he is lost in his thoughts ,looking at the past ,or the future maybe!,

He has no idea about the amplitude of what I feel when he does small things like that, how smart he is even though he always said that Steve was the intellect one between the two of them .those eyes so bright and caring yet promising trouble like you only dare to dream about?  
how kind and thoughtful he can be with people ,even though he's persona is quite frightening with his rebellious looks and metal arm.

And how loving bucky is with the people he cares about...

lost in my thoughts while listening to him talking, drinking coffee and smiling awkwardly and trying to maintain appearances , that am listening to every syllable he says, just so that I wouldn't get caught day dreaming…

Since when have I started to notice those small things about him?I have no idea.

_God somebody please take those pink lenses of my eyes!_

“ isn't that right?” he asked suddenly

_let's face it how can anyone not get lost while looking at him?_

 

Not knowing what to do, just lowered my eyes to my coffee and said the truth

“Sorry buck!I got lost for a minute” I said smiling

“Really! lost in what?” he asked while getting his face waaay to close to mine and just looking right through me.

Trying not to look at those blues, I smiled not amusingly but just not to blush .he kept looking intensively , eyes softening after a while.

Then the corners of his lips started to move upwards, given him that murderous smile and said with the sweetest voice I've ever heard.  
“a penny for your thoughts!”

_oh my god what the hell Barnes?_

Now my blushing was down to my neck ! _oh hell why does he have this much power over me without doing bloody nothing?_

Bucky Barnes does not need to know what is going on in my head, _hell not_!

“I.. I just.., I'm “ I mumbled incoherently fidgeting with my mug and food plate trying to ..just do something with my hands ...fuck it!am smoked.  
Starting to get up …

“hey” he stops me. “Doll its alright I was joking”then“ Unless you were thinking about something fun!” he added smirking knowingly.

 _Shit, I'm busted_. I blushed even worse, with him looking like he just goes out of bed, well anyway he did!  
and his hand on mine and his face so close to mine shit I I want to kiss those Rosy lips so bad and to hell with the consequences.

Wait a minute!... is he!?..  
his eyes kept going from my eyes to my lips and back again. A spark in those icy blues. was he leaning in? my heart!

Bloody fool! get your head out of the gutter. It's probably just my imagination.

“ morning guys!” Said Steve from the kitchen door all sleepy and adorable, our heads snapped to his direction and well, you can guess what happened.

“ Am I interrupting something?” Steve asked smiling to his ears like the little shit that he is wiggling his eyebrows knowingly. _oh you prick!_

Following his gaze we noticed that Bucky’s hands were still on mine, so we both retrieved our hands so fast!, with Bucky's smiling amusingly and me blushing even more.

“ morning punk,”Backy said, “want some coffee?”

“Thanks, jerk! yes, I do” he replied nothing happened.

“ Moon, are you going to be ok? I mean didn't you have this presentation early this morning!”

Presentation what presentation? what time is it?

“ Oh, shit “I barked after checking my watch.

“Fuck I'm going to be late “I sprinted to the couch where I put my bag and paper holder before having my coffee.

“ You kiss your mother with that mouth” Bucky joked.

“ fuck you, Barnes”. I replied heading to the door.

“ you wish! little scorpion” suddenly came the reply close to me,oh _fucking hell how I wished that!_

I turned to check why was his voice so close! And he was right behind me grabbing the front door and smiling like it was Christmas morning.

And it didn't stop there, his face was closing in even more, with it, my heart rate and he just popped a kiss on my cheek and said

“ Have a nice day doll”

“Th...thanks!” I mumble floating out of the apartment.  
 _Hey its going to be a good day._

“Nice”  
“ Oh zip it jerk! if it wasn't for you I would have kissed her already.”

He took his place next to Steve facing his meal.  
steve was going through his cereals chewing loudly and grinning like a kid.

“I bet you would have” Steve added

“ She's going to be okay right?” I asked worried about her.

“ Yeah I think she's alright, she can make it with her driving “Steve added  
“Good,” Bucky replied relieved.

 

“So are you up to for today?” Steve asked

“I got a meeting with Natasha, she said she can help me find a job that goes with my skill set “  
“ Are you sure you're okay working with her? you know it's kind of violent what she does, is it okay with your ...you know..!” he added concerned

“ I'm okay Steve, I need to try it to know, maybe it won't work but I need to know, don't worry buddy I'm okay”

“Ok, good luck buddy, I have to run, come to the gallery when you finish with her okay”

“Okay see you at 3”

 

   


   


It was not a good day!..well it's started good but then it kind of escalated quickly!

After I got home, an empty home at the moment apparently.Good!

Been fantasizing about taking a bath, a very very hot bath!

I can take my time in the bathtub, without having a blonde head Popping every now and then to try and get me out of the bathroom, because he feels lonely cuz I’ve been in there for a while, or that he had a bad day and wanted to talk about it .

so I stripped and in record time, got into the hot water, just RIGHT! The warm water was a blessing for my sore muscles.

it felt heavenly perfect, after this morning's battle in the kitchen between my body and my heart for the sanity of my mind.

and that meeting that seemed to go on forever. the presentation was a bit stressful but in the end, it went well and my project was accepted.

I got out of the bathtub after a good twenty minutes soaking in the wrinkling warmth, all rosy cheeks and smoking skin. got dressed in my comfy attire which was mainly cotton shorts and one size too big sweatshirt .hair dried and done in a bun above my head and a hot cup of coffee ready to go next to my laptop, and finally a warm blanket on the living room couch for some writing time since forever.

with the empty quarters, I could finally give time to my very neglected work.  
I had a storyboard to do.

 

Lost in my thoughts I was brought to reality by the sound of keys opening the front door. letting my roommates in, laughing, with exhaustion all over their features.

“ Hey, guys “ turning on the couch to face them “you're later than usual what's up ?“I asked

“ got held up at work, last minute paperwork to do “replied Steve moving to the other end of the couch, grabbing my legs up and making himself comfortable by readjusting my legs over his lap. they look beat !

“You look beat” I commented

“Tell me about it !“ he sighed

I tried to see Bucky mirroring his best friend on the other couch chair, letting his man bun lose.

“GOD!...my head hurts, my scalp hurts, even my hair hurts !” he deflated

“yeah !having a tight ponytail all day will give you that “I sympathized knowingly

and now he was pouting while he massaged his head with his fingers, slowly, getting through those silky strands . _and what I would give to be able to do that!_

Steve noticed my rêverie apparently, which explained him squeezing my foot!

_“You're drooling again Moon” his eyes screamed at me !cracking a side smile_

_“I know !shut up “I replied with mine let me. have my moments you punk!_

“so did you guys eat ?” I offered to change the subject, getting on my feet and heading to the kitchen to get dinner ready.

“ No “replied Bucky

“I'm starving!” said Steve

“okay! So, go change. both of you, dinner will be ready in 20 minutes .”

“you sure you want to cook ?” he asked back

“okay boss” Steve at the same time

I smiled and headed to the kitchen.

Ok! So by fully embracing the fact that I was no chef!  
I settled for a simple recipe, a chicken soup, and a salad.  
I got a sight of Bucky out in his bedroom door and heading for the couch

“Hey Moon you need some help?” asked Bucky

“ I've got it BUCK!” Steve replied, getting into the kitchen with his sleeves already up.

“okay!” said Bucky gripping the remote control and literally falling on the couch

“let us have the cooking done for once,” I added

“ Alright !” said Steve while clapping his hand  
“ what should I do?”

“Get the table set, and wash the vegetables, I'm handling the soup. You do the salad” I instructed him

“okay chef !” replying already next to the sink.

I took a last glance at the real chef, he was sitting comfortably where I was just moments ago .with the blanket on his lap, my laptop to his side, and the remote in his hand.

he looked really tired .and he seemed restless.

“what's up with Buck?” I ask Steve when he was next to me.

“He is feeling a bit under the weather today, I think he's not sleeping lately !” he said with a concerned look in his eyes.

he really seems so out of it, his eyes glued to the TV but it was clear that his mind wasn't there.

it's been over a month since he's been living with us and I get to know what a tired Bucky looks like, this one is something else.

he seemed out of place, lost, closing on himself, seeking warmth and comfort.

And seeing him like that made me three times more protective of him, I hated seeing him like that !which pushed me to try to do anything in my power to make him better.

I hated not being able to do anything about it, while getting to the chicken I kept throwing glances at the boy on the couch, recognizing the symptoms in an away.

something is wrong on a deeper level not physical but deeper than that.  
he is in a state of needing comfort food. Do we have ice cream?  
I go to the fridge to check yes! so ice cream for dessert.

“Where was he today,” I ask Steve

“on a job interview with Natasha,” Steve applied

oh God! Natasha was a private detective so she could probably get him a job where he can use his skill set.that was logical !trying to have him in the hive, he was fierce!  
but something must have happened!

“ Steve! you told me that Becky has PTSD, do you think working in a violent environment will help him? and I thought you were smarter!” I said ironically

“Oh trust me! I tried to talk to him out of it, he doesn't listen, he thinks he’s indestructible!”

“ but look at him now! he's so stubborn, he cannot work this out he needs something completely different from what he's used to, something calm, something with a routine.”  
I finished looking at Bucky, spread on the couch, lost to the world

“I will talk to him about it, it okay! don't worry I got this” i finished

10 minutes later, dinner was ready, we ate and the boys making jokes and nagging me about my cooking skills  
“ it's good Moon, just joking!” said Steve “but let Bucky do it as long as he can. okay!”

“ thanks, Stevie! that is so nice of you to tell me.! I hate you sometimes you know that” I replied throw in my napkin at him “you were eating it for the past four years through”

Becky was laughing at this and that was a beautiful sound to hear.

“You shut up, it's not funny!” I Scolded him

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry! “he laughed “Steve ...it's good, give her some credit, she did a great job”

“ Congratulations Stevie,” I said directly “you will do the dishes tonight “

“no!!” he whined

“hahaha suck it !jerk “Bucky barked laughing at us both

Steve looks at me at in that moment and like magic, I understood what he was thinking “you made him laugh “as I winked at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WOULD BE SO HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU GUYS...  
> show some love!


	6. Jump! just JUMP!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okk so I made a mistake and posted the wrong, chapter...  
> 6th instead of the 5th chapter!  
> all is fixed now...just make sure to re read it!  
> enjoy

“scoot over!” I said with a mouthful of Ice Cream trying to get into that tiny space between Bucky's bulky frame and the rest of the couch, where I was hours ago.

“you know there is a perfectly empty couch just right there!” he replied but started to move anyway.

“Nah! here is just fine!” I added tugging at the end of the blanket to put the ice cream ball on! _God my fingers are freezing over!_

“Ok! give me a minute!” he forfeited, and started repositioning himself under the soft textile“ here!...”.

 

Not giving him any chance to refuse, I filled the spoon with the chocolaty happiness and fed it to him when he turned to look at me.

The sweet taste took over the surprised look on his face, he took it all in his mouth while closing his eyes to appreciate that creamy feeling on his tongue. And was that a moan or am I daydreaming again?!

 

He went silent for a moment, just looking at me incredulously, and that fainting smile finally took his rightful place on his face

I wiggled my eyebrows smiling, promising mischief as usual.

Taking my fingers to my mouth to blow and warm them a bit! Bucky noticed and his left eyebrow went up!

 

“How is that you can grab smoking hot toasts easily with your hands and can’t even handle an ice cream box for a second!?” he asked genuinely wondering.

“Well! what can I say”...I replied taking the spoon from him dragging it on the freezing surface and taking it to my mouth… “I can handle hot!....” I winked “cold?!...not so much!”

He took the box with his metal arm from where it's was on the blanket between the two of us.

“here! you won't suffer the frost bits and I will have a warm blanket!” he added, “happy now?!”

I smirked “My HEROoo”! I added dramatically batting my eyelashes cutely _!well in my head it was cute...in reality..._ i dont _know!_

“uh huh!” he just rolled his eyes at me mumbling something about me being a brat! and went back to the TV.

 

Bucky was eating ice cream on his own now, I happily relinquished the freezing box to him.

He seemed good! But he was a good actor our Sargeant like Steve warned me days ago _“he will never show his feelings, Moon, he can close himself to the people around him, and no one would know anything, he can actually be drowning and no one would know!”_ ha! tell me about it! am a Scorpio love...that is our trademark.

 

Something kept me on edge, alert, I had a feeling that we should not let him be alone to get lost in his head again, where all his nightmares stood waiting for him like dirty street dogs.

Sneaking looks with the corner of my eyes, checking on him every now and then, like Steve does from the kitchen drying glasses with a cloth. And remember that power that Steve and I share?...well our telepathy was so ON right now!

_“He’s good Stevie! I've got him” winked at Steve from the kitchen counter, “I know you do !” he nodded in response._

Minutes passed, and Steve joined us, laying on the other couch his book in hand. After a stubborn moment resisting to fall under, Bucky fell asleep, in a sitting position, head leaning back exposing his throat, his bun getting looser with every move. Hugging the blanket for dear life.

He wasn’t comfortable obviously, his head kept searching and repositioning for that resting position, and with him being a stubborn son of a bitch, he resisted to lean back on me, being the logical choice here! Accepting his fate after a while and gone still for a bit.

he was finally under in a heartbeat, I lifted my arm and just made him lean on my shoulder, his neck finally finding some sort of relief.

Steve passing me the small cushion behind his back, put it on my thigh, readying it for him.  
I finally dragged him down to it, he ended up laying on his left side, head Finally comfortable

“we should wake him, he should go to his bed!” I said to Steve  
“Nah, if he wanted he would have done it by now” he replied.” he doesn't want to be alone, he does this sometimes, generally when he would be feeling bad... I've learned to read the silent cry with time.!” he finished with a lingering look to his best friend

Agreeing completely, Steve went back to his book. and me to whatever the hell was on TV.

For the life of me, I still can’t tell you what was on TV,...

Buck’s soft and steady breathing was the star of that evening, and I couldn’t dream of a better show.

we were so happy that our boy could finally get some long awaited rest, even for an hour at most.anything would be a win at this point.

  
Stevie said that Bucky wasn't sleeping lately and even had to go to his room and try and have him rest for at least three hours every night.t my complete ignorance!, it looks like Bucky needed the company to vanquish that restlessness he brought with him when he got back from his last mission. he seemed to sleep easy when Steve was there with him.so Stevie would do it even if was the last thing he 'd do!.  
and who wouldn't! I mean, having that giant bear clinging to you for safety all night! _WHERE DO I SIGN PEOPLE?!_

Half an hour passed peacefully, and like on cue his restlessness seemed to creep up on him.  
he started to move,...was he dreaming?

Suddenly, He looked in pain! agitated .what should I do?! _you fucking jinxed it! you idiot!_

I looked at Steve for help.

“I can’t do anything, he has to go through it himself!”  
“But we should wake him up or something,?” I asked not knowing what to do, _and I fucking hated it!_  
“I did it one time, woke him up, well….let’s just say it wasn't a good idea!” Steve replied with the memories dancing in his eyes. “let him deal with it Moon, try to talk to him, it seemed to work when I did it!”

 

Not having any control over my limbs, my hands took the liberty of taking that ponytail of hell from his VERY LOOSE BUN now! and slowly freeing _MY DAMN WEAKNESS_ from the black elastic, getting his Auburn tresses over the pillow.

After that, I just plunged my fingers in his hair and started massaging his scalp.

And by the stars and MOON, he moaned! he fucking moaned people!  
_OH heavens, what a music!_

“Oh, that is so cute!” Steve interrupted my heavenly moment of happiness  
“you’re blushing Moon!”

I didn't comment, just smiled, I just didn't give a monkey’s ass about what he could think of me right now.because to our surprise, Bucky’s body started to relax, his breathing calmed and evened out. _AND that was A FUCKING WIN!_

“Well! I’ll be damned!” commented Steve “who knew!”  
“What?” I asked,” I didn't do anything.!”

“Just keep doing what you're doing….it's working!” he added behind us now, took the blanket and arranged it on Bucky.

“Oh! I could do this all day,” I replied with a wink. knowing he would get the reference.  
he laughed

“I know you could!” he finished with a kiss on my forehead and giving me the remote control “you're not working tomorrow?” he asked "Nah! am working from home this week" I replied "don't stay up too long then, good night"

“ I won't! ‘night buddy! ” I whispered taking the remote and putting supernatural on, I had some catching up to do anyway.

..................................

Bucky kept moving and turning in his sleep BUT didn't seem to wake up anytime soon.

Like Steve had suggested, whispering sweet nothingness to his ear, and dragging my palm on his skin, seemed to do the trick.

The creases between his eyebrows softened a bit, but his sad features were still the same.

He was on his back now, trying to lay comfortable, but it looks like that my thighs and the pillow under his neck were starting to weight on his neck,

In a swift motion, eyes still closed, he took the pillow out, throwing it on the ground in a heartbeat!  
hand in the air, I froze like a thief caught in action, did not dare to move an inch!but he kept invading my body like a claimed territory.

So ladies and gents! Bucky Barnes ended up sleeping on my chubby thighs! his dark locks spreading all over them, I could feel the warmth of him spreading and breathing on my skin!

_Thank you brain for making me take a bath ANd deciding to wear shorts instead of pants!_

And as if all that wasn’t enough!... He did what I have never expected to see from him, an actual cheek rubbing like a contented cat .all that was missing were the purrrssss!

 

_OOook!let's see if we can have that too!_

Testing the waters, with a shit-eating grin on my face. I lowered my hand carefully back to his hair again.gliding my palms over his ear.scratching my nails delicately on his scalp.

 _Come on! it's not like I wasn't gonna play with it!_ where in _hell am I gonna have a chance like this? you think the opportunity of having him LITERALLY on your lap will be A COMMON THING from now on?!....well yeah! in MY dream world, or your fan fiction...any who!_ l

_Let me play people, and don't judge!_

  
SO focus!... Me, playing with his hair...

a few seconds later, with the softest caresses that I could master right now, try and failing to ignore the tingling that was starting to play house in my stomach. light scratches of my fingernails claimed one territory after another and getting acquainted with his scalp down to his rough skin with the start of his beard

 _AND WE HAVE A WINNER! yes!! it's happening people! this is not a drill_! a very Very smooth groan was in the house.not a purr but a guttural groan nonetheless! wait!! is he smiling!?

“what are you dreaming about!?” I said to whoever was listening…dragging my eyes to his luscious lips and had a swift tip of his tongue between them as a reply!

 

Dean was talking to Sammy about some British dick head _!( Dean's words_ ), being ambushed over something or another...still didn't know what was the episode about though!  
It looks like me catching on the show was a no-go, when I had a sleeping Buck nearby.

Finally declaring forfeit and just switching the TV off. I tried getting myself comfortable and ready for sleep.it's good that I don't have to be at the office in the morning...yeah! a graphic designer has its perks.

but little that I knew, was that making yourself comfortable was not an easy task when you have a giant cinnamon roll hugging the hell out of your legs.

BUT I accept anything if it meant waking up next to him…” _oh! what a beautiful thought!”_ said my heart to my eye-rolling brain.

Bucky was now on his stomach, his flesh arm somehow under my thigh, yes! that sounds impossible but THAT'S WHY I SAID huGGING THE HELL OUT OF MY LEG!

 

Anyways! moving with the speed of a lazy snail, carefully now that he left me with no choice but accepting my fate and just leaning to my right side tucking myself between his sides and the back of the couch.

I could only reach as far as his waist, just above the small of his back.grabbing the small couch cushion to support my head, and I couldn’t dream of a better sleeping position.l _et's be honnest...sour neck be damned!_

It was like 69’ing but more”Kawai than Hentail” _.haha ..ok get your head out of the gutter you pervs!_

Finally settling down, ready to sleep.surrounded by his musk! ’ _ok, there is no way using the word -musk- and NOT think about something dirty!_  
_I hereby allow you to do so!_

 

After a while his restlessness was back, he started twitching and saying unintelligible words tugging on the blanket hard...

I was glad that wasn't my thigh he was grabbing cuz, GOD! that would have bruised!

“sssshht!! I got you! ...am right here love.it's ok! go back to sleep”I soothed, dragging my free hand on his large back...I Couldn't reach his head anymore without angling up a bit, so his hair was out of the way…-to my heart's break-

 

I made sure to keep a constant contact with him,( _my entire buddy clade to his was out of the equation! of course)_ in my defense, he seemed to need it, _so who was I to deny him that?!_

 

Void of any stress, and totally relaxed, a peaceful face which he can never harbor while awake took place.

I smiled fondly, and with the last attempt I ventured my hand to his face, I wished I had my phone so that I could snap a picture of him sleeping... _next time_!

he shifts unconsciously moving closer before nuzzling his nose against the palm of my hand and it’s in that moment, I realized How far gone I was for this man.

_GOD! those sweet, sweet fluters in my belly were the answer I needed_

 

Why do I always feel the NEED to help and take care of him, why do I always fall for the broken souls? this stupid and childish illusion that I could save them is so powerful, like a drug given to the ultimate addict, the feeling of being needed is the most intoxication rush I've ever felt before…

But, the icing on the cake was that, how can I heal someone when I was the one needing it the most?

Helping a broken soul when I was broken myself!

The realization hit me like a rock, If I wanted to save him, I should first start with MYSELF.  
allow me to trust people again, learn to open my heart again.

I’ve been alone for so long now...that I can finally admit that I became a recluse in a way!

I’ve been disappointed too many times, I ended up putting them all in the same bag.  
every time I felt anything for anyone, I eradicated that feeling from its roots…to protect me from that ache again.  
no more sleepless nights, no more ruined days thinking about what I could have done to make him fight for me, to prioritize me.

and the joke was that I’ve been told that I was "the perfect girlfriend", they came to find the girl and the friend in me.but with the same ending... _where was the truth in that?_

if they ended up leaving me?!

It is known that independent woman ARE OVERWHELMING for some men. And being alone for some time, you learn to be very self-satisfied, and VERY independent, so one plus one equals...

 

I could feel myself falling for Bucky, ‘caus let's face it! who couldn’t!?!he is the personification of my wildest dreams, walking every day under my nose.

In all my stories and comics, I put some of my version of “a perfect man” in my characters,  
in a way, Bucky seemed to have them all, so I was bound to fall easily and So VERY HARD over Bucky Barnes.

Now that I remember; Steve was the first one to notice that about me, with every one I brought to meet him, he ended up saying _” yeah! it won't last long!”or he is no Buck!"_  nagging me, and proving that he knew me better than I knew myself, that little shit!

which is why he did everything in his power to bring us together maybe? that little shit! I need to have a talk with him.

I was bound to fail, just didn't have the guts to accept it.

_I was in love with Bucky Barnes_

how did I ever ?...when did it happen? how could I?! he is Steve's best friend for god’s sake! it couldn't be more stereotypical .okay he was so fucking hot and thousand percent my type but this doesn't give me the: right to claim him mine!

Now that I think about it!... when was the last time I fell in love with someone? they say that when you stay single for long period Of time, you become less needy and get to be less trusting in the opposite sex.well, that is just fancy words of saying that you're broken.

And that moment my heart chooses to try and argue with me by telling me that' _bucky is broken too and that you can learn to heal together'_ awww _!! “SHUT IT you,_ romantic _idiot_! Life _is not a fairy tale and it's not that simple_ “my mind seemed very pissed at the moment

With that thought, he shifted and turned to face my stomach. I went rigid, not Daring to move! _Oh! for the love of all that was sweet and chocolaty, please stop killing_ me!

he nuzzled my stomach and have his metal arm around my waist and hugging so tight that it gave me goosebumps as if that wasn't enough to kill me he chose that moment to groan in content.

I checked my wristwatch and sighed, it was 2 a.m. it's going to be a very very long night.

_Fuck you brain, this is not the time for this kind of self-realization._

Am so tired! I Breathed out. Finley ready to go under.


	7. Through her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am sooo sorry guys,my muse is a diva!he is a fucking jackass through and through so sorry again for the late update. for those of you whom are following this story thank you so much, please leave any comment or kuddossss ,you know it will make my day.
> 
> you willl notice some change in POVs i just like playing with that.so yeah ,sorry again!

So warm and soft, what is that? before he opened his eyes he tried to feel his surroundings, he got used to doing so in his army days.  
so the first thing he registered was the warmth.it’s usually the opposite, he would wake up with a freezing feeling all over his limbs, weird!

He was covered with a soft blanket, very soft and furry to the touch. he moved his head a bit, this is not a pillow he though, something soft touching his nose a sweet smell filled his senses, something chocolaty and he knew this fragrance, always smelled like hot cocoa after showering...but, why is he thinking about her after a shower? he's still fuzzy with sleep, and he can’t think straight, not before his coffee…

 _what the hell is this? is someone in my arms?_ without uttering a word, He stills, felt a steady up and down between his arm and that was where that warmth came from.

Not daring to open his eyes yet _God did I fell asleep in Steve's bed again? I don't remember going to his room last night. wait! I don't remember going anywhere last night except for the couch! ...on the couch with ...Oh shit!  
_ At that moment all those huge limbs went as rigid as a statue, he tried to focus more, it was raining heavily outside today, which was expected in October.He smiled, that was nice. He likes rainy days.

Moving his metal hand very very slowly to try and ‘pinpoint’ what is he exactly holding to start his evacuation strategy. so , up a bit to the north, a curve.no! a bone.a hip bone! shit it's was her waist, he is holding her on her waist

“Oh heavens!” he fell asleep on Moon’s lap last night and he is still holding her in the middle.

He went on and opened his eyes, and the first thing covering his vision was pink! well, skin and a belly button right in front of his eyes. _that's warm softness was her skin_ he thought warmly and bit the inner walls of his cheeks keeping himself from blushing? _OMG Barnes, you are not a teenage girl!_ he rolled his eyes at himself this time.

first things first, he untangled himself from her as slowly as he was capable of, stopping in track at every reaction from her.  
_Damn!_ he was a trained soldier for goodness sake, he could be faster about it! but It wasn’t something that comes easily when he was trying to not wake up a sleeping girl who had a rough night because of him.

He smiled, _another kind of rough night could be fun_ !he caught himself thinking…  
fell onto the ground at the foot of the couch, finally free ..well, the wrong choice of wording here.

He wasn't captive or, _he wished to be?!_ he smiled again, it’s funny how everything changes, a whole new perspective comes to view, and wish to belong to someone at a certain point of your life.  
on that pleasant thought, he got up and finally looked at that warm creature who kept him safe from his dreams last night.

He could look at her now, she had her hair on her face covering her eyes completely, it looked done on purpose cuz it was impossible to have that much hair covering one area of the face. _so she did it because of the early morning light coming from the large window in the living room .she must have slept very late_. he deduced “she used her hair as a cover eyes “he chuckled,“weird girl!” smirking fondly, a gentle smile on his face. sliding his arms under her to get her to her room, lifted her like she weighted for nothing “let's get you somewhere comfortable” he murmured.

She groaned and hugged his chest, then rubbed her upper cheek with a closed left hand like a cat just under his eyes, mumbling something unintelligible.

“Oh that is very cat-like little scorpion!” he whispered smiling he pushed the door of her bedroom open and slipped inside. located the double bed still made because of him! dragging the covers down with one arm and tucked her in.

last time he did so she groaned complaining about the coldness of the sheets under the blankets. no changes today too, still making those complaining mewls. this time he muffled a laugh

“ I know !, give it time doll”

with a last adjustment of the covers to her shoulders, he lingers for a bit , and just without overthinking about what he was doing, he caressed her sleeping face with a soft fingertip tracking and arranging that rebellious hair of hers.he caught himself smiling at that…

He started to head outside when he noticed that it was actually the first time he was in her room when it was light outside. the last time was at night and the lighting was very dim, _courtesy of the black shale over the lights on the nightstands on either side of the bed!_ so he couldn't see anything that stepped out!now, on the other hand, he could see everything, so he took everything in.

Someone's bedroom is another aspect of their personality, you can learn so many things about a person just by looking into their room. and Moon’s room was the exact image of herself.  
  
Bucky couldn't help but be completely taken by the place, after watching what looked like “la piece de resistance” in Moon’s room. the un-ending shelves of shoes. it was a pretty spacious room, with one large window next to the messy desk and a small one next to the bed facing the left side, where she is currently at bay.

Facing what must be the bathroom door at the end of the wall. the shoe wall was fully covered from left to right with numerous types and styles of footwear, the boots at the bottom, going up with stilettos, and sandals and other names for other shoes...  
with every color and shape and all were high heeled…. he smiled again, she sure loved her heels.   
But one, in particular took his attention, it's was on the third shelf next to the desk, black leather stilettos with the leather pinched in a decorative way at the front making it look like it was gathered on the foot holding the flesh in.

The high heel was also leathery he remembered it from the first time he met her, she was wearing it with that scorpion's t-shirt. the shoe was gorgeous, and with those skinny and never-ending heels, he had to admit that it was sexy, what can he say, high heels did things to a man. _ _when it was on the legs that came with it…hum, what a nice thought. putting the shoe back where it belonged, Bucky turned to the desk, it was two sets of desks actually, which were covered with so many papers and half-finished drawing, and what looked like comic panels where the computer screen and the massive designer’s tablet weren't already occupying…__

Up on the wall, was another set of shelves, but those were mainly occupied with comics and books and so many figurines and action figures... _Ok, so this girl was a massive geek!_ he smiled again, well it wasn't a surprise really, just looking at her every day with those black rimmed glasses reading and fangirling over Tv show characters was a red flag! the giant posters on the wall helped too,

 

Two posters actually caught his attention, one was a bunch of superheroes grouped together posing victoriously,and what looked like a leathery clade dark character with long hair on the second one, he noticed that the character in the middle with the blue costume and the white “A” on his helmet  and a giant star with three stripes on his chest was weirdly familiar, with those blues piercing you ,and a “Captain America” written across the bottom half of the page,

He could see more because of the poor lighting at this side of the room, with the window shades closed, there wasn't much light getting in.  
he noticed some unfinished works on the desk, taking an interest he dragged his hand on the paper, try separating some from the others just to see what was on them.  
it looked like a comic panel, with the same blue costumed guy and the ‘A ‘on his head but this time it's unfinished.

He put his flesh fingers on the paper which was covering another drawing, sliding it delicately to the left to reveal what's under it, a strange feeling that he wasn't supposed to see this In the back of his mind…  
He turned his head to look at the girl on the bed sleeping soundlessly, he lifted the paper and couldn't believe his eyes…

 It was a black and white drawing of him, sitting next to the living room window with a  glass of hot coffee suggested by the smooth pencil shading like smoke ,he was lost in his head with loose hair, hugging himself with his metal arm, looking at the twinkling lights blurred by rain on the glass window…  
The subtle work set a mood, he looked so sad, and lonely, and lost, and so many other things at once...but the saddest part was that he remembered feeling all those things when he was indeed sitting there the last time he had a talk with Steve about letting go...and taking chances.

 

He couldn’t believe that she saw him that night! he thought he was alone! _but something’s not right, he had his hair down here, and he wasn't wearing a white shirt!_ he was in a hoodie and had his hair up, so this wasn't a reproduction! she didn't watch him that night, it was imagined!  
Ok, now it makes more sense, ‘cus he was the one getting her to bed that night too after she fell asleep on the couch. he smiled fondly,; it looks like it's a pattern starting to form!and he was so ok with it!

 

Eyes back on the paper, for the last time, _so this is how he looked through her eyes?!  
__a lost puppy!?_ craving affection and love?!...he closed his eyes and headed for the door, trying to forget about the picture now in his head.

 “so, had fun last  night?”

“geez” he barked out very surprised! “you startled me you punk!” he said getting to the coffee machine.

 “good morning!” replied Steve  smugly

“you’ve been sitting here all along?” added Bucky

going to the kitchen cabinet, and pouring the hot black liquid in the mug which said _‘ don't’ talk to me before this, or else they will not find your body’_ which was a housewarming gift from Moon after he settled in.

 “Y-Yeeep!” relied on steve mockingly, he is having so much fun right now!

“ugh! grow up!” bucky eye-rolling at his brother and resuming his task of trying to properly wake up!

 

Settling on the counter next to steve’s which matched his mug stating _‘don’t be fooled by my doe eyes,or you’ll be disappointed!!!’_ with three exclamation points on it.  
  
Bucky smiled at that, _she really is something else, isn’t she_! steve noticed his good mood and took a sip concealing his loving smile

“did you know she drew me?” said bucky after a comfortable silence, eyes still on his coffee

“yes, I did, what did you think about it?”

“ I don't know, I guess I, wasn't ready to see myself through someone else's eyes, looking that pathetic, “ silence,”...and ..sad …”he finished his sentence looking at Steve earnestly,

“ pathetic? really! “ said Steve surprised,”what made you think that?”

 “Oh I don't know Steve, maybe the way I was sitting, lamenting and almost crying and looking at the rain?!”Bucky replied defensively, he hated talking about his feelings when he knew he could do shit about it!

 

How can someone as strong as Bucky belittling themselves like that! steve asked himself this question regularly since his brother came back from the horrors he lived through this past years.he was never like that! ever! Sam was right, it’s never the same person coming home from war!

“you!?, looking pathetic! wait a minute, i’ll be right back” he cut him, and he headed out to his room with a purpose, and emerging back out after a few seconds.

“are we talking about the same thing??”he emphasized his words with a thud of a  bunch of comics on the table

“you, Bucky Barnes, looking pathetic through her eyes!!?” he added this time with softer voice,”look closely Buck, you’re the opposite of pathetic and sad!”

 “wait, what is this? “ asked bucky surprised and dismissing the portrait,to see what’s infront of him.

 “what you actually look like in her mind” replied steve with a proud smile on his face

 

There was the same blue costumed guy again, the one that looked familiar to Bucky, now he knew why! if he didn’t, the repeating name ‘steve Rogers’ must have helped a bit!

“stevie, is that you!?”he asked with an endearing twinkle in his grey eyes,

“yep! am a superhero Buck!” steve added posing like his comic replica.hands on his hips and that squared jaw turned to the left, intimidating a ghost sitting on the couch maybe?!

“haha! that is so cool!” he laughed this time.

“wait , check this one out” added steve while flipping through the pages of the comic and stopping in track at a black clade leathery menase of a man, with long hair and a metal arm.

 

Bucky needed a minute to grasp everything in front of him,the man was dressed with full black on black, pants and a one sleeved jackets, all the works.

His face was covered with a mask looking like a mussel and goggles covering pretty much all his face except for the little spacing of his forehead, with a  sniper rifle on his back .a hunting knife and a handgun on either sides of his thighs, with some heavy boots and knee protections.

A red star was painted on his metal arm , gloved. the other was holding another gun. _” the winter soldier”_ written in red cornered with white.

“am...that’s supposed to be me?”he asked completely thrown by the situation 

“yep,you’re a menace. Buddy!” you should read it,”he started to get up ,”I think we have all the numbers in the library”he added heading to the shelves under the giant TV,he noticed a bunch of books there.

“it..it wasn’t a comic book, but... a portrait…”he said softly, looking at the pages or at something beyond them, steve couldn’t tell.

“yeah, she does that sometimes…”he replied

 

Looking at the art again,Bucky was mesmerised by the details,the colors and the story of the winter soldier,he will so read it!it’s not everyday you discover that you’re actually a superhero,well, correction a deadly assassin ,a ghost who ends up being a hero ,what stevie summarized for him in a minute.

He remembered seeing some sketches of the soldier on her desk too, and that ginormous poster on her wall.

 _”the soldier!”_ he found himself murmuring, like a name of an old friend, or a something closer then that...one thing was sure, he was alluring.

“is this really what she thinks about me? “

“huh! you’d be surprised bro!” finished steve emphasizing his words with a gentle and ferme pat on bucky’s shoulder., getting up to the sink.

 “and you never thought about telling me that sooner?I don't know, like _-hey buck, you know i'm kind of a superhero and your my sidekick!_ -kind of way?”

 “well, it did cross my mind but then, it wasn’t something so far fetched i mean she was always very Biographical in her work.so using her friends as fictional characters wasn’t much of a surprise! annd you’re not my sidekick!” steve answered eloquently.

 “yeah but….”

 “just read it, you’ll find them all in there, Nat, clint,ohh you will love Tony’s character. well actually Tony is the only one who isn’t playing a character, she just put all of his life and just gave it to the world to behold!and he couldn’t be more happy about it!” steve continued while rinsing his mug and telling his story with a bit of ‘so done with the man’ all over his face!” _a genius , billionaire playboy philanthropist_ as he puts it”

“and you my friend,...she made you from my stories” he continued, this time the soft and loving, and so much care for this man infront of him was all over his face again.”she asked so many questions, she wanted to know everything about you, about our life growing up!

that’s why she could portray you so vividly”

 

Bucky looked at the pill under his hands, for once, he was excited to see what person he’d be in this pages. maybe it will help him rediscover himself all over, with the help of Moon.

“I have to go Buck, tell me what you think about them later ok?” said steve heading to the table next to the window to grab his keys.” she’s still asleep?”

“”yeah, she didn’t sleep well last night!”

“and who’s fault was that!” accused steve teasing him

“oh shut up jerk!i didn’t mean to fall asleep like that, am already embarrassed!”so don't add up to it!”

“hehe, you shouldn’t be,I bet you a week of dishes that she enjoyed it!”

“yeah, yeah! i was a treat!” he mocked half hoping for it actually!

 

Bucky zoned out for a bit, remembering last night’s events, how safe he felt last night.And how none of his nightmares came for his sanity for once, since forever!

How he fell asleep so easily, when he spent hours just tiering his body so that he would just shut down hoping to never wake up at times when it was particularly hard.

“…..starting early, but.” steve continued then stopped on track.

“what...sorry,I was lost for a bit”

“does it surprise you that much?” steve added after a short silence, studying his friend for a second..

“what does?” asked bucky

“how easy it was!” he added

 

Bucky didn’t have to answer, as always leave it to good old stevie to give words to his thoughts.

“yeah…”the softest reply came to his ear, wasn’t even sure if it was for him or for himself!

stevie smiled and already opening the front door.

 “don’t forget your umbrella” shouted bucky, and at that moment, the weather outside chose to let everyone know that he was no joke at this time of year! making everyone notice him with  blinding set of lightning and a striking growl of thunder

“shit, completely forgot about that!” he grabbed one in the closet next to the door,

”what would I be without you!” he added while blowing a kiss in the direction of his brother!

“yeah yeah! you’ll be wet that’s what!”he relied upon dismissing his idiot of a jerk!

 

“who would be wet?” a third member finally came to play!

“Me, if I didn't have a loving Bucky to remind me about the very nice weather outside!” joked steve

“I see, what a lucky bastard!.” she added “wish we all had one! do you lend him perhaps...i’ll be very generous and pay fairly!” she continued with the joke!

Bucky just rolled his eyes, which were mirroring the color of today’s weather! a stormy grey, with a set of lightings of their own when he had something in mind!

“Just gerra a’here!”

 

Moon and steve were both laughing earnestly, Steve finally headed out after winking at his girl! “see you two later!”

“say Hi to pepper for me,” said Moon. just before the door closes.

 “good morning Love!” she finally turned to face a suddenly nervous Bucky Barnes!

  
  
  
  
  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

> pls leave any comment, I would love hearing your thoughts...


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